Connected
by let-them-say-what-they-will
Summary: People always talk about some kind of connection between twins. But Sara have a strange kind of connections with her sister indeed. I remind you that English it's not my native language, so sorry for all the mistakes.
1. The connection

**A/N**  
_I had this story in my mind for some time. I hope you will like it... I know it a little strange maybe... but... enjoy it and let me know if you are interested._

**Chapter 1: The connection**

Sara was sleeping in her bed, under her white, fresh sheets, when it all began. It wasn't the first time and it would haven't been the last, that she knew for a fact.

Like always, it's started with the sensation of a little pressure on her lips. She was asleep so she didn't really felt that, but soon she started to stir when she felt a trail of warmth caressing her sides.

Her eyes fluttered open for just a second, just to be sure about what was happening, then she closed them again. She was used to this, even if at the beginning it was so strange and she felt so scared and she thought she was going crazy. How could it be possible? But after some times she simply got used to the feeling. Anyways, there was nothing she could do about it.

Her nipples hardened under a ghost touch. The feeling of soft lips closing around her left nipple was so strong. With the time things became so strong and real. She reached for her other breast with her own hand, caressing and squeezing lightly and teasing herself. Suddenly the feeling of another hand on her chest, fingers pinching her right nipple. Her hand went to cling on the sheets as a soft moan escaped her mouth.

Then she felt the pressure between her legs, she couldn't actually feel the weight of the other body on hers, but the feeling of the thigh pressing on her core, was clear.

"Oh God," Sara said, feeling the wetness increase. Her moans weren't muffled by the pressure on her lips even if the feeling of somebody exploring her mouth, was there.

She started to raise her hips when she felt the rocking back and forth of the other. Her eyes were still closed, focused only on the feeling. She knew she was just slave of the other, there was nothing she could do to get what she wanted and how she wanted. It wasn't about Sara, it was about the other. But she had learned how things were so she knew how to act, how to respond at those stimulations.

The pressure between her legs was replaced with the feeling of fingers drawing small and fast circles around her clit.

"Oh God, Lindsey," she said, and for a moment her eyes opened, just to be closed a second later. It was so strange to say her name, but she got used to that too, in the end, was Lindsey the one that was giving her pleasure, and that had pleasured her for years now.

"Please," she pleaded. But nothing change, Lindsey rhythm didn't changed, even if Sara wanted something more, something a little rough. But that wasn't about her, again. Lindsey was thinking about Tegan, her fingers were working to pleasure Tegan, not Sara. Lindsey was doing what Tegan loved. And that was driving Sara crazy, like always. But that was another thing she got used too. She knew she had to wait, but she was sure that in the end, she would have got her release.

She knew she was incredibly wet, she felt her own cum slip between her legs and on the sheets. She was teasing her breast again, but things were going painfully slow, so she started to slid her hand down. The moment her fingers found the pool between her legs, she felt it.

Two fingers entered her.

"Yeah Linds, like that," Sara said, even if she knew that her approve couldn't matter less. She arched her back, meeting the pace of the fingers that were filling her. Maybe Lindsey was thinking about Tegan, but that didn't mean Sara wasn't enjoying it.

Then the feeling of soft kisses placed on her jaw line, the tongue tracing her pulse point, and then down between her breasts. She knew was it was going to happen and her body arched and shook in anticipation. The feeling of the fingers thrusting into her, never left Sara as she felt a warm tongue joining the dance between her legs, teasing her clit.

"Fuck... oh fu-" the words died in her throat when lips start to embrace her swollen button. A light bite was followed by a soft lick before Lindsey started to suck.

"Oh fuck... I'm... oh fuck... FUCK," Sara yelled in the night as her body tensed for a moment and then went limp as she came. But that didn't mean Lindsey had finished. Lindsey thrust in her again and again, causing Sara to tremble and shake as her body was too sensitive. A few new waves of pleasure hit her before all came to a stop, when Tegan came too.

Sara opened her eyes.

"Fuck, I hate this," she said in the night, at no one in particular as she was alone in the room.

"I hate this," she repeated, reaching between her legs, but even if her words said so, a little smile lightened her face.

She turned on her side. She hoped this was one of that night where it was about just one of them. And it was.

How many years had passed since the first time? Seventeen.

Seventeen years since all began, since that fucking connection was established, since Sara started to feel every sexual encounter her sister had.

Now she could even say with who her sister was fucking. Yeah, now it wasn't much of a mystery, it was always Lindsey. Tegan's girlfriend from four years now. But even before Lindsey, she knew with who her sister was.

It was so strange to think that basically, Sara was having a relationship with Lindsey too. Like a sexual relationship without all the other problem that came with a real relationship.

Sara had learned every sexual habit in Lindsey and Tegan relationship. She knew what Tegan liked because Lindsey was always ready to give it to her. Sara knew every single thing her sister loved. It was so weird to think about that. She wasn't supposed to know what her sister liked under the sheets. But part of her was happy to knew, a little part that Sara had buried inside of her a long time ago, around the time when all started. She had buried those thoughts and feeling so deep inside that she didn't even know they existed anymore. The only times she felt different, she felt like those feelings were surfacing again, was when it wasn't Lindsey the one fucking Tegan, but when was Tegan herself.

It's wasn't something that happened very often, just when Lindsey left due to work for a long period. But every time Tegan masturbated, Sara felt something different, and special. And she hated that even more than the feeling of Lindsey fucking her. Lindsey didn't never mean a thing to her, or better, they were friends, but Tegan... Tegan was her twin sister, and even if she had buried those feelings so deep into her, she loved her so much, and she still loved her. And every time Tegan get herself off... for Sara was basically as her sister was fucking her, and that was so heavy in her mind and in her heart. Because every time that happened, she remembered that those feelings existed, even if she was trying to deny them.

She didn't know why, she didn't know how...

But she knew exactly WHEN it all started.


	2. The first time

**A/N**

_I'm not sure you will like this... I liked it ahahaha_

**Chapter 2: the first time**

Sara was in her bed, looking at the ceiling. Every time that the thing happened, she spent time with her eyes fixed on one point, wondering why it happened, and how she could ever stop it. She wasn't even sure she wanted it to stop. Right, to have 'sex' with Lindsey was quite strange even if enjoyable. But... the feeling of Tegan, was all another thing. Sometime she felt guilty for the pleasure she got from it, for the thoughts she had about her sister, but the truth was that there was nothing she could ever do about that.

Then, other images came back to her mind, images from her childhood, when she was 15, when it all started, when she found out she was different, she found out something was wrong in her.

_15 years before._

"Tegan please..." she was pleading her sister.

"No, no, no. Get out, you're fucking sick," Tegan yelled back at her.

"Tegan... I'm not... I just..." she was cut off, her sister hands were on her shoulders, pushing her against the wall, hard.

"You're a fucking dyke," Tegan said through clenched teeth, pushing her sister against the wall, again and again.

"I thought you were normal," Tegan added in a whisper, "I hoped you were normal," she said, resting her forehead against Sara's chest, crying. Her hands balling the collar of Sara's shirt in her hands.

"I need you to be normal," she said, her tears falling freely.

Sara was there, still. She didn't dare to move. All she wanted was to console her sister but she didn't dare to touch her. She was crying too, now.

She understood perfectly what her sister meant. Everything they ever did, they did together. Everything they had ever been, was _the same_. They lived like one person, like it was natural to be _the same_. That was all they ever knew. Knowing that her sister was thinking about her like a sick person, was hurting her so much, right into the depth of her soul. From all the people, she thought her sister was the one who could have ever understood her, accepted her. But when she had admitted to Tegan to be gay, Tegan rejected her.

She understood this was something new and different. They were growing up and differentiating from one another. At the beginning were small things like different haircuts and stuff. But this was something big, and Tegan was taking it the wrong way.

"Tegan..." she said softly. Her sister rose her head to look at her in the eyes.

"Tegan, it's... it's just me. This is who I am... I hope you'll forgive me," she said looking at the ground, suddenly feeling ashamed for who she was. She was trying hard not to sob or choking on her words, but there was nothing she could do to hold back her tears.

She didn't know how to tell her sister that this time, it was only about her, not them. That this was who she was but didn't mean Tegan had to be the same. They were growing to be different persons, but it was hurting Sara so much to know that Tegan was so angry with the person she was becoming. They were going to be different but that didn't mean she didn't need Tegan's love anymore. Her sister was the only thing she had ever known to be... hers, in a way. Tegan was her sister, her twin, they were the same, she was her savior, her guardian angel, the little piece of heaven on Earth. To think about her in those terms now that they weren't little kids anymore, was strange, but it was even true, maybe truer than ever. With all the things she was feeling inside, the thing she needed the most was her guardian angel, her Tegan.

But there was part of her that wanted so much her sister to be with her in this. She hoped her sister was... like her this time too. She told herself she wanted Tegan to be like her just to have her to share all the things coming with this 'coming out'. She hoped to have Tegan near her to walk through it.

She couldn't admit that to herself, but there was something inside of her, a feeling, telling her that Tegan had something to do with her being gay.

But it wasn't simple for Tegan. All she knew in life was that she had Sara, her twin sister. She shared everything with her, they shared the same passions, they shared the same face, the same DNA. Why things should have been different this time? If Sara was gay, she had to be gay too, right?

She knew that she was blaming Sara for something that was only about herself, something that she did suspect from some time now. But hearing her sister put her fears in words, made her sick. She wasn't ready to admit such a thing to herself. She was gay too, but it wasn't because of her sister, it was just who she was. Even if she didn't want to be, even if she refused to acknowledge it.

No, she wasn't ready to admit it. It was time to start to be different from her sister, to be someone else. Somebody on her own. She needed to let her sister go in a way or another.

"I can't," Tegan say slowly, without turning from her sister gaze.

Her words made Sara's chest tighten.

"I CAN'T" Tegan start to yell again shoving her against the wall even harder. She was trying to separate from Sara and this was the only way she could think to push her away.

Sara felt pain in every part of her body, her heart was broken and her lungs were screaming. And she knew exactly what her sister was doing, she was cutting their bound. And she knew she needed to let her go, but it was so painful. But it was a thing they both needed. She needed to say goodbye to that part of their life, when they were one.

Before she knew, she took her sister by her hair, and when Tegan pushed her against the wall for the umpteenth time, she took her with herself, and a moment after she hit she wall, Tegan's body pressed on hers, and they lips crushed together.

She felt a spark, the fire expanding to her chest, into her heart. Sara kissed Tegan hard, and for a moment, Tegan kissed her back.

The next thing Sara knew, her body onto the ground, her arms around her middle section and a fight for her breath. Her sister had hit her hard in her stomach and stormed out of the room, crying.

Sara made it to her room with difficulty, and when she was there, she took her puffer from her nightstand. Her breath was short and her lungs were screaming, but the medicine helped her with that. Even the pain to her stomach was fading. But her heart was killing her. The idea of loosing her Tegan was unbearable. She cried herself to sleep.

Sara woke up in pain. A pain between her legs. The pain was nothing compared to the fear she felt inside. She didn't know what was happening, and yet, she knew was it felt like. And she was crazy afraid because she was alone into her room but the feeling was so real and present. She could feel every thrust of something into her, every touch on her body.

She turned on the light just to have confirmation she was alone. And with that she started to cry. Her body was experiencing something new, something she didn't want to feel. She didn't understand how it was possible and that was scaring the Hell out of her. She thought she was going crazy. She cupped herself through her pants, trying to dull the sensation, trying to stop it. But it didn't work.

The sensation was getting stronger and she felt painfully filled, and that made her sick to her stomach. She had touched herself in the past and that was totally different. And it felt so wrong.

Her mind was running, the thrust became deeper and harder and she was experiencing a great pain. She thought about rape, and ghosts, and all other things that didn't make sense into her mind. Her mind was just going in every possible direction giving her images as she was in a horror movie.

She felt lightheaded as the pain was accentuated by a burning feeling between her legs, and inside of her. Suddenly her mind went blank. That was something impossible, out of the world, and her rational mind wasn't able to process what was going on, so it just shut down, leaving her there, just feeling.

Then she started to panic. Even if her mind was off, her body was full conscious of what was happening.

She tried to stand up from her bed, but she fell on the floor. She was crying and sobbing. She wanted her mother to reach her and just make all of it finish. But her mother wasn't home.

She started to crawl toward her sister's room. She was the only one at home. When she was near the door, she heard it. Moans and groans were coming from the room. But that didn't stop her from turning the knob and entering the room.

The lights were off but there was enough light coming from the window to let her seen the scene before her. Tegan was on her bed, the body of her boyfriend on top of her, he was inside of her. It was just for an instant. Her sister turned her face and looked at her shocked, then angrily.

"Tegan, help..." was all Sara could say. She felt so ashamed and embarrassed but her pain was still there, even if it was like every movement inside of her had come to a stop. But it wasn't just the pain between her legs, it wasn't only the fear and the shock of what was happening to her body. It was all of it, mixed with the great pain into her chest, as her heart was breaking at a new level of depth due to the image in front of her.

It looked like the time had stopped, but it all happened in a couple of seconds. She could barely hear the words her sister was yelling.

"Help," Sara said again in a whisper as her hand reached out in her sister direction. Then, all went black.

She didn't remember having emptied the content of her stomach on the floor of her sister room. She didn't remember her breath became shorter. She didn't remember her body falling down, face on the floor. She didn't remember her sister face turning from anger, to concern, to panic, as she pulled the guy off of her to reach for her. She didn't remember her sister yelling her boyfriend to go home. She was passed out so she didn't knoould have broke her.w how lovingly her sister helped her.

Tegan ran to her sister, she shifted her body, resting Sara's head onto her lap. She was naked as she looked at her, Tegan face was pale almost as Sara's. After she had passed out, Sara's body started to relax and her breath became regular again. She looked like she was just asleep. Tegan placed a hand on her sister chest to feel her heart. It was beating a little faster than normal, but in just a minute, even that returned to a healthy pace. Tegan sighed and exhaled in relief, she was worried but she knew her sister was alive at least. She stroked Sara's hair, taking the wet strands out of her face.

She lifted Sara's body in her arms, taking her to her room and lay her gently on her bed. She looked at her for a couple of minutes than she went to her room, just to came back with her pajamas on.

She sat on Sara's bed, looking at her in the moonlight. Sara looked so fragile and pale. God, she was so thin. Tegan started to cry at the thought she had hit her so hard just few hours ago, she felt so bad about that. She had hit something so small, and perfect, and beautiful, she hit her because she was afraid. _I could have broken her_. She thought, without knowing how much she really had broke her.

She looked at Sara for few minutes, just rubbing her arm, watching the little smile forming on Sara's lips in her sleep. When she saw that smile, her heart melted at that expression, Sara seemed so at peace, and she finally knew Sara was ok. She rose from the bed and start to walk toward the open door, when she reached it, she turned to look once more at Sara. She was ready to go to sleep but something was blocking her from leave her sister. She just felt the need to be near her, to comfort her, to let her know she was there for her, that she wasn't mad at her.

Tegan closed the door and went back to her sister bed. She knew her sister loved her space into her bed, but Tegan needed this, she needed to be physically near Sara even if she didn't know why. She lay down near her sister, moving closer to her back. She reached out with her hand and pulled her sister to meet her body. She felt her sister tense for a moment and then relaxing in her embrace. She rubbed her sister stomach for a minute as tears rolled down her face thinking about the punch she gave her right there, then she kissed the back of Sara's neck before falling asleep.

The next morning, Sara woke up into her bed and for a moment she freaked out. She wasn't alone and she felt the presence of another body before she opened her eyes. When she did, she saw her sister. She was facing Tegan that was asleep. They were so close that Tegan's breath caressed her face with every exhale. Normally, she would be annoyed by someone presence in her bed at morning. But she was Tegan, her sister, the one that meant the world for her. She didn't remember what happened the night before, not completely. Yes, she remembered the pain and the awful feeling, then she remembered her sister with her boyfriend, the cry for help. The rest was black. She looked at her sister. Tegan must have helped her to bed, then she choose to sleep in her bed to... she didn't know, maybe to keep an eye on her. But she was grateful for that.

It was only in that moment that she felt Tegan's hand on her waist. Sara smiled at the warmth her sister was giving her through her hand. It was so comforting that made her feel safe. She snuggled in Tegan's embrace, leaning her forehead on her sister chest and putting her hands between their bodies, touching her sister belly softly . The movement made Tegan's hand move from her sister side to her back, and now she was full embracing her. Sara lay there, just listening to her sister heartbeat and feeling her breath.

After few minutes, she felt her sister squeezing her, letting out a little groan. Her eyes went wide, for a moment afraid that her sister was going to be mad at her for their closeness. But she relaxed again when she felt her sister hand rubbing gently her back.

"How are you doing?" Tegan said, kissing the top of Sara's head. Sara looked at her, they were so near but Tegan seemed she didn't mind.

"I'm fine, thank you," she said smiling, Tegan smiled her back in relief.

"What happened yesterday?" Tegan asked, looking worried and curious at the same time.

Sara looked away from her sister eyes for a moment. What had happened? She didn't know, and she wasn't even sure how to explain what she had felt.

"I don't really know, I just felt... pain, and I was so scared... I'm sorry if I had... interrupted you," she looked away again, ashamed because she didn't know how to say that her sister. She wanted to fill her in but she felt embarrassed at the same time, she was embarrassed for herself and for the situation she found her sister in, so she just let it go.

"You know, you scared the hell out of me," Tegan said shaking Sara gently, and smiling at her, dropping the other subject, "I thought I was loosing you," and Sara saw the sadness clouds her sister eyes for a moment.

Sara just looked at her in awe for a minute.

"Are you mad at me?" Sara asked shyly, her voice barely audible. Tegan looked at her intensely.

"Oh my God, no Sara, I'm not. I was so stupid... I-I" few tears started to fall from her eyes, "Sara I'm so sorry... I reacted... I don't know, I was just scared and... I hurt you... could you ever forgive me?" she asked to Sara, looking into her eyes, begging for her forgiveness.

Sara wiped away Tegan's tears with her thumb.

"Only if you'll forgive me," she said smiling.

Tegan looked at her smiling back, then her face turned serious again.

"You have nothing to be forgiven about, you are so strong Sare," she said locking a strand of Sara's hair behind her ear. Sara felt like she knew what Tegan was talking about, "I was so stupid Sar... I really am sorry. I shouldn't have hit you," she said.

Sara thought for a moment.

"It was my fault, I shouldn't have..." Sara looked at her sister lips, unable to put it into words. She had kissed her sister. "I'm so sorry," she added.

Tegan smiled at her shaking her head lightly.

"It's ok," Tegan just said. Tegan hugged Sara tightly and they just lay there for a long time, just breathing and sharing tears every now and then. They lay, there comforting each other, trying to mend their bond.


End file.
